We investigate the critical behavior of the open coherently-driven Bose-Hubbard dimer under nonlocal dissipation. A conserved quantity arises from the nonlocal nature of the dissipation, rendering the dimer multistable. In the weak-coupling semiclassical limit, the displayed criticality takes the form of amplitude bistability and breaking of spatial and temporal symmetries. A period-bistable time crystal is formed, consisting of Josephson-like oscillations. Mean-field dynamics and quantum trajectories complement the spectral analysis of the Liouvillian in the approach to the semiclassical limit.