Disputes over collective memory are a common source of bilateral friction in international politics. For example, differences over war memory have negatively impacted Sino-Japanese relations for many decades, despite apologies and other attempts to deal with the problems. Why are history-related issues so persistent? Existing explanations suggest, for example, that efforts to improve relations have been insufficient, or that collective memory is used instrumentally for political expediency. This article contributes to this discussion by shifting the conceptual focus from memory to forgetting. It argues that dominant notions of forgetting as fading away and denial often facilitate an understanding of collective memory in terms of security. It suggests that a conceptualization of forgetting that sees it as inherent to all remembering could ameliorate tension over collective memory by making those involved in international memory politics recognize that not only others forget, but that they themselves also do so as they remember.