Herein, we disclose a convenient protocol for the α-diarylation of carbon nucleophiles to yield heavily functionalized quaternary products. Diaryliodonium salts are utilized to transfer both aryl groups under transition-metal-free conditions, which enables an atom-efficient and high-yielding method with broad functional group tolerance. The methodology is amenable to a wide variety of carbon nucleophiles and can be utilized in late-stage functionalization of complex arenes. Furthermore, it is compatible with a new class of zwitterionic iodonium reagents, which gives access to phenols with an ortho-quaternary center. The diarylated products bear an ortho-iodo substituent that can be utilized in further transformations, including the formation of novel, functionalized six-membered cyclic iodonium salts.